18. Workplace Affairs - Maintain Professionalism & Boundaries
How to handle interoffice relationships and avoid disruptions.
Imagine this - You start noticing tension among your team. Subtle whispers in the breakroom, awkward silences during meetings, and a growing unease in the workplace atmosphere. Eventually, you learn that two team members—both in relationships outside of work—are having an affair.
Colleagues have started gossiping, and workplace morale is suffering. Some employees feel uncomfortable, while others are openly taking sides. One of the individuals involved seems distracted, missing deadlines, and avoiding interactions with certain colleagues.
As a business owner or manager, you’re faced with a difficult dilemma -
Do you step in, or is this a private matter?
How do you address workplace disruption without overstepping personal boundaries?
How do you prevent this from damaging team morale and productivity?
HR psychology tells us that workplace relationships are not inherently problematic—but when they create tension, favouritism, or a toxic work environment, leaders must take action. In SMEs, where teams are small and relationships are highly visible, ignoring the issue is not an option.
The Solution – Managing Workplace Affairs Professionally and Effectively
Handling an affair between two employees requires a balance of professionalism, discretion, and clear workplace policies. Here’s how to manage the situation while maintaining team cohesion.
1. Stay Neutral and Gather Facts
Before taking any action, separate facts from rumours. Workplace gossip can exaggerate or distort reality, so it’s crucial to base decisions on objective observations.
Steps to take -
Avoid acting on hearsay. If an employee reports the situation, listen without immediately assuming it’s true.
Observe workplace behaviour. Are the employees in question acting unprofessionally? Is their relationship affecting teamwork or morale?
Assess potential conflicts of interest. Are they in a reporting relationship where favouritism could be an issue?
The goal is to address workplace impact rather than policing personal lives.
2. Have a Private, Professional Conversation
If the affair is causing workplace disruption, a private conversation with each employee separately is necessary.
How to approach the conversation -
Keep it work-focused. Instead of addressing their personal lives, focus on observable workplace behaviours.
Be direct but professional. Example -
"I've noticed some tension in the team, and it's affecting productivity. I want to understand if there's anything happening that might be impacting your focus at work."
Remind them of workplace policies. If the company has a Code of Conduct or Relationship Policy, reinforce expectations about professional behaviour.
3. Reinforce Professional Boundaries
While personal relationships are private matters, workplace behaviour is not. To prevent further disruptions -
Remind employees to maintain professional conduct—avoid excessive private conversations, public displays of affection, or conflicts that affect the team.
Set expectations about discretion—workplace relationships should not impact teamwork or decision-making.
Ensure fairness in assignments and promotions—avoid perceptions of bias or preferential treatment.
Many businesses adopt workplace relationship policies to ensure fairness and prevent conflicts of interest. If you don’t already have one, now might be the time to implement clear guidelines.
4. Address Team Morale and Gossip
Workplace gossip can escalate tensions and damage company culture. Even if leadership handles the situation discreetly, employees may still speculate.
To prevent further issues -
Reinforce confidentiality. Avoid discussing details of private conversations with other team members.
Discourage office gossip. If employees bring up the situation, redirect the conversation to work-related matters.
Maintain fairness and consistency. Ensure that any disciplinary action (if required) is applied fairly to both parties.
The focus should remain on workplace performance—not personal relationships.
5. Plan for Potential Fallout
Workplace affairs don’t always end well. If the relationship ends badly, be prepared for -
Increased workplace tension or conflicts.
One party leaving the company or requesting a transfer.
Possible personal grievances if either employee feels unfairly treated.
To minimise risk -
Encourage open communication—employees should feel comfortable discussing concerns professionally.
Monitor workplace behaviour—ensure both employees remain professional post-relationship.
Have a backup plan—be prepared to mediate or reassign responsibilities if necessary.
If the situation escalates to harassment or misconduct, legal consultation may be required.
Reflective Scenario – What Would You Do?
You’ve noticed two employees becoming increasingly secretive and distant from the rest of the team. Their relationship is affecting workplace morale, and other employees are openly discussing it.
Using the strategies above, you might -
Have a private conversation with both employees to set expectations for professionalism.
Remind the team of workplace conduct policies and discourage gossip.
Monitor workplace performance and morale to ensure minimal disruption.
By handling the situation with discretion and professionalism, you maintain team cohesion while respecting personal boundaries.
Golden Nugget - "Workplace relationships aren’t the problem—workplace disruption is."
SME leaders must focus on professionalism, fairness, and team dynamics, ensuring that personal relationships do not negatively impact business operations. With clear policies and strong leadership, even difficult situations can be handled with discretion and respect.