17. Supporting Grieving Employees with Compassion
How to navigate workplace sensitivity when an employee faces personal loss.
Imagine this - One of your employees, a valued and hardworking team member, has just lost a close family member. They’ve taken a few days off but are now back at work. However, they seem distant, distracted, and emotionally withdrawn.
You’re unsure what to do. You don’t want to pry into their personal life, but you also don’t want to ignore their pain. The rest of the team is also unsure how to act—should they bring it up? Avoid the topic? Treat them as if nothing has happened?
For SME owners, handling grief in the workplace is a delicate balance. Unlike large corporations with dedicated HR teams, small businesses often lack formal policies on bereavement support.
If not handled appropriately, grief can lead to -
Decreased productivity – Employees struggling with personal loss may find it difficult to focus.
Long-term disengagement – If grief is unsupported, employees may feel isolated and lose motivation.
Unintentional insensitivity – Co-workers may say the wrong thing out of awkwardness or lack of understanding.
Psychological research shows that grieving employees don’t need quick fixes—they need support, empathy, and time. With the right approach, businesses can create a compassionate and productive work environment that benefits both the grieving employee and the wider team.
The Solution – Providing Thoughtful and Practical Support
Grief is personal, and there is no one-size-fits-all response. However, HR psychology suggests key strategies that help employees feel supported while maintaining professionalism.
Here’s how SME owners can navigate this sensitive situation effectively -
1. Acknowledge the Loss in a Genuine Way
Ignoring a grieving employee’s situation can make them feel invisible and unsupported. At the same time, saying too much or offering forced sympathy can feel inauthentic.
A simple, heartfelt acknowledgment can go a long way.
“I’m so sorry for your loss. Please know that we’re here for you.”
“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to let me know.”
This lets them know you care without putting pressure on them to talk about it.
2. Offer Flexibility Without Assuming Their Needs
Some employees may want extended time off, while others may prefer to return to work quickly to maintain routine. The key is offering options without making assumptions.
Ways to provide flexibility include -
Allowing remote work if the employee needs space.
Adjusting deadlines or workload temporarily.
Offering flexible hours to accommodate personal obligations.
Check in with a simple, “Would adjusting your schedule help you right now?” rather than making decisions for them.
3. Train Managers and Team Members on Compassionate Communication
One of the biggest mistakes businesses make is expecting colleagues to handle grief support naturally. The truth is, many employees feel awkward or unsure about how to interact with a grieving co-worker.
Encourage the team to -
Avoid saying, “I know how you feel,” unless they’ve experienced similar loss.
Respect the employee’s choice to talk—or not talk—about it.
Offer simple gestures of support, like a card, meal delivery, or just a quiet, understanding presence.
HR studies show that employees who feel supported by colleagues during grief have higher long-term engagement and loyalty to their workplace.
4. Recognise That Grief is an Ongoing Process
Returning to work doesn’t mean an employee has “moved on.” Grief can affect concentration, decision-making, and energy levels for months or even years.
Be patient with performance changes—grieving employees may not be at full capacity immediately.
Check in casually (“How are you holding up?”) rather than making it a formal issue.
Be mindful of difficult anniversaries—birthdays, holidays, or the anniversary of the loss may be particularly tough.
Psychologists confirm that workplaces that offer long-term emotional support experience higher employee retention and morale.
5. Provide Practical and Emotional Support Options
Sometimes, grieving employees don’t know what they need—but having support available makes a difference.
Consider offering -
Access to counselling services – Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) offer professional grief support.
Paid bereavement leave – NZ law requires a minimum of three days, but offering additional flexibility can be helpful.
A safe, quiet space – Allow employees time to step away if they need a moment to process emotions.
These small accommodations show employees that their well-being matters.
Reflective Scenario – What Would You Do?
A long-time employee has just returned to work after losing a parent. They seem distant and are struggling with simple tasks, but they insist they’re “fine” when asked.
Using the strategies above, you might -
Acknowledge their loss in a simple, private conversation.
Offer workload adjustments without forcing them.
Encourage a supportive team environment while respecting their privacy.
By handling the situation with sensitivity and flexibility, you help them feel supported without overwhelming them.
Golden Nugget - Grief doesn’t have a timeline—but support in the workplace can make all the difference."
By acknowledging loss, offering flexibility, and fostering a compassionate work culture, SMEs can help grieving employees recover at their own pace while staying engaged in their work.