16. Connecting with Reluctant Team Members

How to engage employees who struggle to integrate into the team.

Imagine this -  You’ve just hired a new employee with impressive skills. You were excited to bring them on board, expecting them to integrate seamlessly into the team. But weeks go by, and they remain distant. They don’t engage in team conversations, avoid social interactions, and seem hesitant to collaborate. The rest of the team has started noticing their resistance, and now you’re hearing complaints that they’re “not a team player.”

You want to address the issue, but how? You don’t want to push too hard and make them more withdrawn, yet if you do nothing, their reluctance could damage team dynamics and overall morale.

This is a common challenge in SME workplaces, where close-knit teams rely on strong collaboration. In larger companies, a disengaged employee might go unnoticed, but in small businesses, every team member matters.

So why does this happen? HR psychology tells us that resistance to team integration can stem from several factors, including -

• Personality type – Some people are naturally introverted or cautious in new environments.

• Past workplace experiences – A history of toxic work cultures or poor leadership can make people hesitant to trust new colleagues.

• Unclear role expectations – Employees who don’t fully understand their position or feel undervalued may withdraw.

The good news? With the right approach, SME owners and managers can successfully integrate resistant employees into the team—without forcing artificial bonding.

The Solution – Building Trust and Encouraging Team Connection

Connecting with a reluctant team member requires patience, emotional intelligence, and a tailored approach. Here’s how to break down barriers and foster genuine team integration.

1. Identify the Root Cause of Resistance

Before taking action, it’s important to understand why the employee is resisting team integration. Some key questions to consider -

• Are they naturally reserved, or is there an underlying issue?

• Do they feel undervalued or uncertain about their role?

• Have they had negative workplace experiences in the past?

• Are they struggling with personal issues that affect their social engagement?

To find answers, observe their behaviour and have a private one-on-one conversation. Keep it casual and non-confrontational, asking questions like -

• "How are you settling in?"

• "Is there anything that would make your experience here better?"

• "Do you feel comfortable with the team and your role?"

Understanding the reason behind their resistance is the first step to solving it.

2. Build Psychological Safety in the Workplace

HR research shows that employees who feel psychologically safe—meaning they can express themselves without fear of criticism—are more likely to engage with their team.

Ways to create psychological safety include -

• Encouraging open communication – Employees should feel safe to share thoughts without fear of judgment.

• Avoiding forced socialisation – Instead of pressuring them into group activities, invite them casually but respect their comfort levels.

• Leading by example – If leadership demonstrates warmth, inclusion, and vulnerability, employees are more likely to open up.

Psychological safety removes social pressure and allows people to integrate at their own pace.

3. Assign Purposeful One-on-One Connections

Instead of forcing team bonding through large group activities, try pairing the resistant employee with one trusted team member for smaller interactions. This can be done through -

• Mentorship programs – Assign them a buddy who can check in on them informally.

• Collaboration on small projects – Working closely with one person first can ease them into teamwork.

• Casual coffee chats – A relaxed setting can help build a sense of belonging without pressure.

HR studies show that one-on-one relationships are far more effective at fostering inclusion than large, overwhelming social events.

4. Recognise and Appreciate Their Strengths

Some employees resist team interaction because they don’t feel valued or relevant. Boosting their confidence can help them feel more secure.

• Acknowledge their contributions in team meetings.

• Give them responsibility in an area they excel in.

• Encourage feedback on their expertise.

When employees see that their skills matter, they’re more likely to engage.

5. Be Patient and Respect Individual Differences

Not everyone will integrate at the same pace, and that’s okay. What matters is creating an environment where they feel comfortable contributing.

• Avoid labelling them as "not a team player."

• Give them space while offering gentle opportunities to connect.

• Recognise that introversion isn’t a flaw—it’s just a different way of working.

Sometimes, employees will integrate naturally over time once they feel comfortable and secure in their role.

Reflective Scenario – What Would You Do?

You have a new hire, and after two months, they still avoid team discussions, decline invitations to social events, and keep interactions strictly work-related. Other employees are starting to feel frustrated, believing they don’t want to be part of the team.

Using the strategies above, you might -

• Schedule a private check-in to understand their perspective and ensure they’re comfortable.

• Pair them with a colleague on a one-on-one project to create natural collaboration.

• Recognise their contributions publicly to build confidence and engagement.

By approaching the situation with patience and strategy, you help them integrate into the team in a way that feels natural for them.

Golden Nugget - "Inclusion isn’t about making someone fit into a mould—it’s about creating an environment where they feel comfortable bringing their whole self to work."

Some employees take longer to connect, but by fostering trust, psychological safety, and one-on-one relationships, SMEs can turn reluctant team members into valued, engaged contributors.