27. Letting Employees Down Gently
How to manage unmet promotion expectations without demotivating staff.
Imagine this - A long-standing team member has been working hard, taking on extra responsibilities, and openly expressing their hope for a promotion. They have performed well, they’ve been loyal, and they believe they’ve earned the next step.
But when it comes time to make the decision, you can’t offer them the promotion—maybe due to budget constraints, a more qualified candidate, business restructuring, or concerns about their readiness.
You now face a delicate conversation—one that could lead to -
Disappointment and demotivation.
A decline in performance or disengagement.
The employee feeling undervalued and seeking opportunities elsewhere.
HR psychology tells us that how you communicate bad news impacts an employee’s long-term morale and loyalty. If done poorly, it can create resentment, loss of trust, and damaged workplace culture.
The challenge? Delivering the message in a way that acknowledges their efforts, maintains motivation, and provides a clear path forward.
The Solution – Delivering the News with Honesty, Fairness, and Future Focus
Leaders must balance empathy with clarity—ensuring the employee feels valued while understanding why the promotion isn’t happening at this time.
Here’s how to handle the situation effectively and professionally.
1. Prepare for the Conversation with Facts and Fairness
Before speaking with the employee, ensure you have a clear understanding of why they weren’t selected.
Was the decision based on business constraints? (e.g., no budget for the role)
Was there a more qualified candidate?
Are there gaps in their skills or readiness?
HR best practice advises that employees accept disappointing news more easily when the decision-making process feels fair and transparent.
Ensure consistency. Have you applied the same criteria to all candidates?
Document reasoning. If performance factors influenced the decision, have specific examples ready.
Identify future growth opportunities. Even if the promotion isn’t happening now, be ready to discuss what they can do to position themselves for the next opportunity.
2. Deliver the News in a Private, Professional, and Supportive Manner
The way you frame the message significantly impacts the employee’s reaction.
Have the conversation in a private setting. Never deliver career-impacting news in a casual or public setting.
Start with appreciation. Acknowledge their hard work and contributions.
Example - “First, I want to recognise your dedication and the positive impact you’ve had on the team.”
Deliver the decision clearly and without ambiguity.
Example - “I want to be upfront with you. After careful consideration, we’ve decided to go in a different direction for this promotion.”
Avoid vague excuses or corporate jargon. Be direct, but professional.
HR psychology shows that employees appreciate honesty more than sugarcoating. If they feel misled or strung along, they will disengage.
3. Explain the Decision with Transparency and Fairness
Once the decision is stated, explain the reasons in a way that feels objective and justifiable.
If it’s due to budget limitations -
“Right now, we don’t have the financial resources to expand this role, but I want to continue exploring ways to recognise your contributions.”
If another candidate was chosen -
“This decision was based on aligning the role’s specific needs with experience levels. The other candidate had more direct experience in X, but that doesn’t mean we don’t see leadership potential in you.”
If they need further development -
“There are a few key skills we’d like to see you strengthen before stepping into this role. Let’s work together to create a development plan.”
By linking the decision to objective factors rather than personal preferences, employees are less likely to take it personally.
4. Redirect Focus to Career Growth and Future Opportunities
The conversation shouldn’t end with disappointment—it should transition into how they can move forward.
Offer specific feedback. Highlight what they do well and what areas they can work on.
Example - “You’ve shown great initiative in leading projects, and I’d love to see you build on that by developing more strategic decision-making skills.”
Provide a clear pathway. If possible, create a step-by-step development plan for a future promotion.
“If leadership is your goal, let’s set quarterly targets to build your management skills.”
Commit to ongoing support. Offer mentoring, training opportunities, or additional responsibilities to help them grow.
HR research confirms that employees who see a clear future within the company are more likely to stay engaged—even after a setback.
5. Monitor Their Reaction and Provide Continued Encouragement
After the conversation, be mindful of their response in the following weeks.
Check in periodically to see how they’re feeling.
Recognise their efforts publicly. Acknowledge their contributions to prevent feelings of being undervalued.
Provide new challenges. If promotion isn’t possible now, offer special projects or leadership tasks to maintain engagement.
Handling disappointment well turns a moment of setback into an opportunity for professional growth.
Reflective Scenario – What Would You Do?
An employee who has consistently gone above and beyond was expecting a promotion, but after a difficult decision, you need to tell them it isn’t happening.
Using the strategies above, you might -
Prepare for the conversation with clear, objective reasoning.
Deliver the news privately, with professionalism and empathy.
Explain the decision transparently while avoiding false hope.
Redirect the discussion to their career growth and future opportunities.
Monitor their reaction and provide continued support.
By handling the situation with fairness and respect, you preserve motivation, engagement, and long-term trust.
Golden Nugget - "Great leadership isn’t about giving people what they want—it’s about guiding them toward growth, even through setbacks."
By communicating transparently, providing actionable development paths, and maintaining trust, SME leaders can manage difficult promotion decisions while keeping employees engaged and motivated.