28. Handling Passive-Aggressive Colleagues
How to stop silent feuds from damaging workplace morale.
Imagine this - Two employees can’t stand each other. They don’t openly fight, but the tension is palpable. Their passive-aggressive behaviour—sarcastic comments, cold stares, deliberately slow responses to each other’s requests—is making everyone uncomfortable.
The rest of the team is starting to pick sides, avoid group projects, and feel anxious about meetings where both individuals are present. The toxic dynamic is undermining productivity, morale, and even customer interactions.
As a leader, you can’t ignore it. If left unchecked, unresolved interpersonal conflict can lead to -
A toxic work environment where resentment builds.
Decreased collaboration and engagement as colleagues avoid group tasks.
Higher turnover—people leave workplaces where tension is constant.
HR psychology tells us that workplace conflict is inevitable, but how it’s handled determines whether it escalates or is resolved productively.
The challenge? You need to intervene without taking sides, escalating hostility, or making it personal.
The Solution – Addressing Passive Aggression with Structure and Accountability
Passive-aggressive conflict can’t be solved by ignoring it or hoping it resolves itself. It requires proactive leadership, clear communication, and a structured resolution process.
Here’s how to handle the situation effectively and restore team cohesion.
1. Identify the Root Cause of the Conflict
Before stepping in, try to understand why these employees dislike each other.
Is it personal history? Did they clash over a past project?
Is it personality-driven? Some people naturally struggle to work together.
Is it competition-based? Are they competing for recognition, promotions, or influence?
Is it a misunderstanding? Has miscommunication fuelled resentment?
HR psychology suggests that most workplace conflicts stem from unmet expectations, misaligned communication styles, or perceived unfairness.
2. Address the Issue Privately—Before It Escalates Publicly
Do not call them out in front of others. Passive aggression thrives on subtlety, but publicly exposing it will escalate hostility.
Schedule separate one-on-one meetings with each employee.
Keep the conversation neutral—stick to observations, not accusations.
Example - "I've noticed some tension between you and [other person]. What’s going on?"
Encourage honesty. If they deny there’s a problem, point out specific behaviours (e.g., delayed responses, dismissive tone).
Listen actively—don’t assume you already know the issue.
HR research confirms that employees are more open to feedback when they feel heard first.
3. Bring Both Employees Together for a Structured Conversation
Once you’ve spoken to them individually, facilitate a private, mediated discussion.
Set clear expectations.
"The goal of this meeting is not to assign blame but to ensure you can work together professionally moving forward."
Let each person express their perspective.
Reframe the conversation from personal dislike to professional expectations.
Example - "You don’t have to be friends, but you do need to work together respectfully."
Establish common ground. Even if they dislike each other, they likely agree on shared goals (project success, career growth, workplace harmony).
HR psychology shows that shifting focus from personal conflict to shared objectives reduces defensiveness and encourages problem-solving.
4. Set Clear Workplace Behavioural Expectations
After the discussion, establish clear, measurable expectations for behaviour moving forward.
Define acceptable and unacceptable behaviours.
Professional tone in emails and meetings.
Timely responses to work-related requests.
Sarcastic comments, eye-rolling, dismissive behaviour.
Create accountability.
"If this behaviour continues, we will need to escalate to formal performance management."
Make it clear that neutrality isn’t an option. Both employees must agree to uphold workplace professionalism, regardless of personal feelings.
HR best practice suggests that clear behaviour guidelines reduce workplace conflict by eliminating grey areas.
5. Follow Up and Monitor Behaviour Over Time
One meeting won’t magically fix deep-seated resentment. To ensure lasting improvement -
Regularly check in with both employees individually.
Observe team dynamics—is the tension easing? Are they cooperating better?
Address small infractions immediately. If passive-aggressive behaviour resurfaces, step in before it escalates.
If improvement doesn’t happen, progressive consequences should follow, such as -
A formal written warning.
Performance improvement plans (PIP).
Reassignment of one or both individuals if necessary.
HR psychology confirms that workplace conflict is best resolved when leaders follow up consistently and enforce accountability.
Reflective Scenario – What Would You Do?
Two employees have been clashing for months, and their passive-aggressive behaviour is making team meetings unbearable. Everyone notices the tension, and work is being affected.
Using the strategies above, you might -
Have private conversations with each person to understand their perspective.
Bring them together for a structured discussion focused on professional expectations.
Set clear behavioural guidelines and enforce accountability.
Monitor progress, follow up, and intervene early if tensions resurface.
By addressing the conflict with structure and professionalism, you restore team harmony and productivity.
Golden Nugget - "You don’t have to like everyone you work with, but you do have to work with them professionally."
By identifying the root cause, setting clear expectations, and enforcing accountability, SME leaders can resolve passive-aggressive conflicts and create a more collaborative workplace.