91. Handling Difficult Conversations with Employees
How to address workplace issues professionally and constructively.
Imagine this - An employee’s performance has declined, another is causing conflict within the team, and a third is consistently missing deadlines. You know a conversation is needed, but the thought of confrontation feels uncomfortable. Over time, you notice -
Lingering workplace tensions, as unresolved issues affect team dynamics.
Declining performance and accountability, as problems go unaddressed.
Reduced trust in leadership, when employees feel unclear about expectations.
Higher turnover rates, as frustration builds on both sides.
Difficult conversations are an inevitable part of leadership, but avoiding them only makes workplace issues worse. Employees need clear feedback, guidance, and support to improve performance and collaboration.
HR psychology tells us that effective communication, emotional intelligence, and structured dialogue can turn tough conversations into positive outcomes. When handled correctly, difficult discussions build trust, resolve conflicts, and strengthen the team.
The challenge? How do you approach difficult conversations in a way that is professional, respectful, and results-driven?
The Solution – A Three-Part Approach - Prepare, Communicate, and Follow Up
Addressing workplace issues effectively requires careful preparation, constructive dialogue, and ongoing support.
1. Prepare for the Conversation
Before initiating a difficult conversation, leaders must ensure they have the right information and approach.
A. Identify the Core Issue & Desired Outcome
Define the specific problem—is it performance, behaviour, or conflict-related?
Determine the impact on the team or business.
Set a clear goal for the conversation (e.g., behaviour change, performance improvement).
Red Flag - If feedback is vague or emotional, the conversation may escalate rather than resolve the issue.
B. Gather Evidence & Observations
Use specific examples of behaviour or performance concerns.
Collect feedback from relevant stakeholders, if necessary.
Ensure facts are objective and free from personal bias.
HR Psychology Insight - Employees respond better to factual, observable feedback rather than subjective opinions.
C. Choose the Right Setting & Timing
Hold the conversation in a private, neutral space.
Avoid discussing issues in front of other employees.
Choose a time when both parties can focus without distractions.
HR Best Practice - Timing and environment can significantly impact how an employee receives feedback.
2. Communicate with Clarity & Empathy
Once prepared, leaders must deliver feedback in a way that is constructive and solution-focused.
A. Use a Structured Approach for Difficult Conversations
Start with a positive tone – Reinforce strengths or past successes.
State the issue clearly – Use facts and examples to explain the concern.
Listen actively – Give the employee a chance to share their perspective.
Collaborate on solutions – Discuss possible improvements or support options.
Set expectations – Define clear next steps and a follow-up plan.
Red Flag - If feedback is overly critical or one-sided, the employee may become defensive rather than receptive.
B. Maintain Professionalism & Emotional Control
Keep the discussion focused on behaviour, not personality.
Use a calm and neutral tone, even if emotions rise.
Show empathy and understanding, but remain firm on expectations.
HR Psychology Insight - Employees are more likely to respond positively when they feel respected and heard.
C. Encourage Open Dialogue & Employee Input
Ask open-ended questions like, “How do you see this situation?”
Encourage the employee to suggest possible solutions or improvements.
Reiterate that the goal is growth, not punishment.
HR Best Practice - Employees engaged in finding solutions are more likely to take ownership of their actions.
3. Follow Up & Provide Ongoing Support
A successful conversation doesn’t end after one discussion—it requires consistent reinforcement.
A. Document the Conversation for Clarity
Summarise key points and agreements in writing.
Share action steps with the employee to ensure alignment.
Keep records for future reference and accountability.
Red Flag - If feedback is not documented, misunderstandings and repeated issues may arise later.
B. Provide Support & Monitor Progress
Offer mentorship, additional training, or check-ins.
Observe whether the employee implements suggested improvements.
Address any new challenges that emerge proactively.
HR Psychology Insight - Employees improve faster when they receive structured support rather than just criticism.
C. Reinforce Positive Changes & Address Ongoing Issues
Recognise improvements with positive reinforcement.
If issues persist, escalate discussions or explore disciplinary actions.
Maintain a fair and consistent approach across all employees.
HR Best Practice - Balancing accountability with encouragement leads to long-term behaviour change and stronger team dynamics.
Reflective Scenario – What Would You Do?
An employee has been consistently missing deadlines, causing delays for the entire team. Other team members are frustrated, but the employee hasn’t acknowledged the issue.
Using the strategies above, you might -
Schedule a private meeting to address the problem with specific examples.
Listen to the employee’s perspective to understand any underlying challenges.
Collaborate on an improvement plan, setting clear expectations and support mechanisms.
Follow up regularly to ensure progress and maintain accountability.
By fostering clear, empathetic, and results-driven communication, SME leaders can turn difficult conversations into opportunities for growth and improvement.
Golden Nugget - "Tough conversations, when handled professionally, build stronger teams. Clarity, empathy, and accountability are the keys to constructive dialogue."
By applying structured preparation, professional communication, and continuous follow-up, SME owners can confidently navigate workplace challenges while maintaining a positive and high-performing team culture.